Maybe You Don’t Actually Need a Dog

This may sound like a strange thing for a dog breeder to say, but before choosing a breed, colour, sex or puppy, perhaps there is another question worth asking:

Do you actually want a dog?

Because sometimes what people really want is something small, beautiful and fluffy to cuddle on the couch, take cute photos of and enjoy when they are in the mood for company.

If that is genuinely all you want, may I suggest a very good quality stuffed toy? It won’t wake you because it needs to toilet, won’t require training or grooming and won’t mind being put on a shelf when you have other things to do.

A dog is rather different.

Because dogs are, inconveniently, alive.

They have their own needs, preferences, fears, moods and personalities. They may not enjoy all the things you imagined doing together. They may be tired when you want to play and full of energy when you want to sleep. They can develop habits you never planned for and have very definite opinions of their own.

They are not here simply to provide affection and companionship whenever we happen to want it. You are bringing home another living creature with its own personality and opinions — and sometimes, rather inconveniently, very strong opinions.

The lovely version of dog ownership you see on social media is real. There are beautiful walks, café visits, holidays together, cuddles on the sofa and an incredibly happy little face greeting you when you come home. Dogs make us laugh, get us outside, become part of our families and somehow make ordinary everyday life better.

But the Instagram photos are only part of the package.

Your dog still needs a walk when it is raining, when you are tired, when you have a headache, when you have a deadline and when you simply cannot be bothered. Dogs do not fit neatly into the spare time left over after everything else in your life is finished. They become part of your life.

And sometimes that life includes diarrhoea because somebody stole too much liver, being woken at 2 am because somebody ate something revolting on a walk, washing a dirty bottom five minutes before leaving the house, or removing something from your dog’s mouth that you would strongly prefer never to touch.

That doesn’t make life with dogs horrible. Those of us who love living with them usually find most of it funny afterwards.

Having a dog doesn’t mean giving up your life either. You can travel, build a career, have children, move house, go out with friends and drink margaritas until sunrise. You simply have one additional question to answer when making plans: what about the dog?

Someone still needs to feed them, walk them and care for them.

And don’t worry about losing spontaneity. Your dog can provide plenty of that too. You may spontaneously spend half the night going in and out of the garden because somebody has an upset stomach, or discover previously unsuspected sprinting abilities when your intact male smells a bitch in season across the road.

Life with dogs is rarely boring.

It is also long. A Toy Poodle may live 15–18 years, and during that time your life will almost certainly change. You may finish school, go to university, build a career, move interstate or overseas, marry, divorce, have children or completely change your priorities. You may get sick, have a crisis or decide to abandon civilisation and join a monastery.

Nobody can promise that their circumstances will remain the same for the next fifteen years. Life happens. The point is that once the dog is here, whatever happens next has to include them.

And if the dog is “for the children”, assume from the beginning that you are getting a dog for yourself.

Children will promise to feed it, walk it, brush it, train it and clean up after it, and they probably genuinely mean every word.

But almost always, sooner or later, most of the responsibility ends up with the adults. School gets harder, friends become more important, teenagers get jobs and relationships, and eventually they go to university or move out. Meanwhile, the dog is still there.

So ask yourself: if my child loses interest next month, do I still want this dog for the next 15 years?

Because “Mum, I promise I’ll do EVERYTHING!” has a remarkable tendency to become “Muuuum, can you walk the dog today?”

And somehow “today” can last another twelve years.

None of this is meant to discourage people who genuinely want a dog. There is a reason we tolerate the muddy paws, grooming bills and occasional 2 am diarrhoea. Dogs bring an extraordinary amount of companionship, laughter and love into our lives.

But love is care. It isn’t only cuddling an adorable puppy. It is caring for that same dog when they are an annoying adolescent, when you are busy, when it is inconvenient, and eventually when they are old and need more from you.

So before asking which puppy you want, ask yourself whether you actually want to live with a dog. Do you want the walks as well as the cuddles, the grooming as well as the beautiful coat, the muddy paws as well as the Instagram photos, and eventually the old dog as well as the puppy?

If the answer is yes, wonderful. You are signing up for an extraordinary amount of companionship, laughter and love — and probably considerably more poo than you currently anticipate.

And if the answer is no, that is perfectly fine too. You can adore dogs without owning one. It is much better to realise that before bringing a puppy home than afterwards.

Because ultimately the question isn’t whether you want the beautiful parts of having a dog.

It is whether you want the whole dog and the whole life that comes with it.

And if what you really want is something fluffy to cuddle whenever it suits you, there are some absolutely gorgeous stuffed Poodles available.

They don’t even need grooming.